How 'Including' Can Change Your Life

Lately, I’ve been watching a lot of people excluding rather than including in their lives so I thought I’d point out some of the differences to bring it to your attention.

Think of excluding as limiting. It’s separating. Excluding is keeping things separated out and limited from the whole.

Now think of including as embracing. It’s deepening. Including is bringing it all together.


Let’s look at that in practical terms.

Consider the differences in nature. Nature is comprised of the four elements of earth, air, water, and fire. It also includes plants and animals in its landscape. Nature is the sitting by the water in the sunshine breathing in the fresh air listening to the birds.

If you’re excluding in nature, it shows up in your life as more stress because nature is a balm for the nervous system. Nature helps to ease our tension.

If you’re excluding in nature, it shows up in your life as disconnection. Nature connects everything together. When we’re deprived of the elements and plants and animals we start to lose the plot, living more in our heads more than in the world.

If you’re excluding in nature it shows up in your life as more anxiety, more worry, concern, apprehension. It makes it much more difficult to make clear decisions you feel good and whole about.

But when you include nature, you feel calmer, more connected, more present. Nature sharpens the senses as it eases the discord.

Given all that, it sounds like a no-brainer to include nature in your daily life, doesn’t it? I like nothing more than a soak in my hot tub while watching the sun go down at the end of the day and our cats running around chasing each other.


Let’s look at relationship. If you’re excluding in relationship, it shows up in your life as loneliness. That’s a given.

When you’re excluding in relationship, you experience it as isolation. You experience it as being unseen. For a long time I’ve said that we all walk around with invisible signs on our backs that say ‘acknowledge me’. We want to be seen and valued.

So when you’re including in relationship, you feel valued. You feel intimacy. You feel loved.


Okay, one more. If you’re excluding in your inner voice, your intuition, your inner wisdom, it shows up as always questioning. You’ll second guess yourself again and again. And you’ll keep asking more people for their opinion or their advice. If you’re excluding your inner voice it shows up as difficulty making decisions. You’re not anchored to your trust.

When you excluding your inner voice you self-sabotage. It can happen in any number of ways - in daily habits, in trying to reach a goal, in gaining traction. Self-sabotage keeps you down.

But when you include your inner voice, you feel confirmation. That sweet spot of realization. When you’re including in your inner voice you feel guided because including it means you’re supported.

And best of all, when you include your inner voice you feel self-loved. And that’s an outstanding feeling to walk around with.


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