We never know where the middle is until we’re in the ending

How's your new year going so far?

On January 1st, I texted those taking my 'Endings & Beginnings' course something I want to share with you.

"When I started talking about this course in email newsletters and social media, I said I found the process of beginnings and endings more interesting than middles. I meant it. And it’s also how we’re wired.

For instance, if I gave you a list of things to remember, your brain would usually remember the list's beginning and end. That’s where you pay the most attention.

In psychology, we call beginnings the primacy effect and endings the recency effect because it’s a 'real thing'. You focus more on endings and beginnings than middles of most things - relationships of all kinds. And it’s this lack of attention in the middle that usually disengages the relationship.

It happens all the time. And it’s only in hindsight that we start to see it.

Because we never know where the middle is until we’re in the ending.

That’s why I wanted to create this course for you, because endings and beginnings take up a lot of bandwidth, use a lot of emotion, and are truly significant to your wiring.

If you take on what I’ve taught you here about endings, you *will* rewire how you do them, how you see them, and how you accept them. You *will* move through them with more ease and trust in the flow.

I also said (in my marketing) that endings weren’t sexy, but beginnings were. And I explained what I meant (it’s in one of my blogs if you missed it).

You can be so dazzled by beginnings, fresh starts, fantasies and escapes and all things new that you can’t really start them because you haven’t put in the effort to process through an ending. And that’s a true shame.

Because everyone deserves a fresh start and a new beginning. Which is why I started with endings as the first focus.

You usually think of beginnings and endings, not endings and beginnings. I intentionally reversed the order of the words.

After decades of working as a transpersonal therapist, I know how consequential endings are. And I know that your beginning has everything to do with your ending."


As I told the students in this course, starting a new year can really be the leverage to move into your choice of new beginnings, whether that's a good habit, a new relationship, or the next phase of your life.

No pressure though. Just a clear direction and some small defined incremental steps forward. Getting the momentum going in that direction.

Don't think about the bigger goal. Think about the direction you've defined and the step(s) you'll take today.

Then do that again tomorrow. And the tomorrow after that.

Never forget that your future is created by the accumulation of your todays.

Happy New Year, Happy New Month



PS) If you missed signing up for the text-based course 'Endings & Beginnings', and are just now realizing you could use some wise guidance & support dealing with an ending and a beginning, I've been asked to offer it again on February 1st. 


There are no coincidences.

Did someone you trust recommend me? Did you google-search 'spiritual psychologist'? Did you follow an internet link or find me on Instagram? If you want me in your inbox, providing context & support for the disruptions, confusions, & stuckness that may be happening in your life, I'm there. 

Yes, please

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