July is a tough month for me. It never used to be. But in July 2012, my son, Connor was killed when a distracted driver ran a red light while Connor was in the crosswalk.
It doesn't matter that it was 9 years ago this month. My body and mind feel it as though it was last week. I expect it always will.
When July approaches, I watch my body recoil and put up buffers, not wanting to be close to comfortable and supposed certainly. It stays awake more. It keeps itself on the edge like a goalie in a hockey net in playoffs. 'You may have fooled me once, but you will never fool me again', it threatens.
Logically, I'm not sure my body knows what it's threatening. But it's shell-shocked, and therefore irrational, so I have a lot of patience and love for it these days.
One of the most difficult aspects of grieving the loss of a child is facing the loss of what I think would have been or likely should have been. As I move along day after day, month after month, anniversary after...
And just like that, it’s summer. And with vaccines #1 and #2 rolling along, it feels like a completely different summer than last year, doesn’t it?
Warm weather, slowing down, time with friends and family - whatever you look forward to in the summer - knowing the astrological energetics and influence can give you a head’s up so you’re swimming *with* the current, not against it. Always a good thing.
That’s why I had my seasonal conversation with my favourite karmic astrologer, Marielle Croft (croftastrologer.com) the other day - a few days before the Summer Solstice. It was time to dive deeper into the astrological perspective of summer 2021.
JONNI: It’s always a treat to speak with you, Marielle. I know things are moving along a lot faster now, but what’s the general atmosphere or theme of summer 2021 according to the planetary influences?
MARIELLE: I am excited to meet with you and everyone again,...
It's been very quiet in my neck of the woods. Oh sure, I talk to a lot of people in a day - by phone, through text and email, on Zoom.
I channel a lot of messages for those in the MasterCourse Collective and those who've signed up for an All Access Pass.
And I water a lot of plants - the greenhouse is thriving and my gardens are bursting.
But in between those things, it's been pretty quiet.
I post at least a few times a day, every day, on Instagram. I express the universal truth, give some quickie excerpts from some of the work I'm bringing through, and share some behind-the-scenes photos and videos of my human life.
And I think about what I want to say in my next email newsletter.
I started composing these email newsletters in 1997 if you can believe. I know some of you can. That was the year I hired Telus to create my first website too - jonnioconnor.com. It was basically one page - my brochure. LOL
Back then I wrote one email newsletter a...
I woke up this morning and realized that for 2 nights in a row, my cat, Romeo, hadn't needed me at all in the night. That's highly unusual. As in, never happens.
At almost 16 years old, Romeo has advanced feline cognitive dysfunction. That means he forgets where he is, forgets the order of things, even forgets what's in front of him. Like food.
So like a newborn baby, he intermittently wails throughout the day and night. He's not in pain; he's just lost sometimes. And so I make sure to give him a lot of connection - especially at night - because cats are nocturnal and that's when they're moving around the most.
That's why this morning when I woke up, I felt things were changing. Romeo is still Romeo, but for 2 nights in a row, I've had wackadoodle dreams and a whole other nightly experience. (Thank you full moon eclipse.)
So here's what I know. I know that big change is really happening right now. And there's even bigger changing up ahead. (Not change,...
I’ve never washed my own car. That’s not a brag or a boast. It’s an admission that I’ve always had men in my life whose love language included being of service.
I got my first car when I was 28. The same time I got my first husband.
Wait, that didn't sound right. Let me try that again.
I bought my first car the same year I got married. Whew. Better.
My (first) husband had a Sunday morning ritual of washing our cars. Worked for me.
When I left him (nothing to do with his car washing, I can assure you), my son Connor took over detailing my car inside and out. He loved loving me that way.
Every 3 years or so he'd pick out another car for me to lease, and then he'd keep it shiny and bright every week.
When Connor was 18 and washing his own car as well as mine by then, I married again, and wouldn't you know it, my husband also loved washing my car inside and out to show his love for me.
The other day I calculated that I've had my lovely men wash my cars now for...
Mother’s Day is such a complicated day in both my professional and personal life. As I'm sure it is for many.
It depends on a lot of things.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
No matter how you sit with it, Mother's Day is certainly not always the 'Happy Mother's Day/Call your mom' day Hallmark et al would have you believe. Amiright?
But if it is a beautiful sentimental day for you - HUZZAH! (Clearly, I indulged in 'The Great' with much joy.) Enjoy your day!
For everyone else, we'll keep it real (to us) and unique.
For me, I now have a great relationship with Janice, who *was* my mother in this life, but who is so much more to me now in the Afterlife.
And I have an astonishing relationship with Connor who *was* the son to my...
Is it too early to start planting herbs?
My greenhouse is warm and I'm itching to put some rosemary and mint in clay pots. I want to dig in the dirt and plant a fresh clump of chives front and centre.
I have a favourite pot for my oregano, my basil, and most especially my sage.
When my son Connor was about three, he loved to plant herbs with me. And then one day he told me that someone else was coming. I assumed he meant a baby, because he told me this someone’s name was Sage.
I remember he took an old shoebox I was using for storing small bits of toys, and told me it was Sage's box. He asked me to decorate it, so together we wrapped it up and made it special.
He put the things he loved inside. “For Sage,” he would say when he took his outgrown shoes, his “Thomas the Tank Engine” toy train, his petting zoo book, and dropped them into the box.
Everything he no longer needed and still loved, went into Sage’s box.
I'm getting my first shot tomorrow morning.
Every second client I've had in the last few months wants to talk about the COVID vaccines. They have questions, concerns, opinions. And they always ask me what I'm gonna do.
I have some clients who don't think about it and will happily stick out their bare arm to be poked as soon as they can.
I have other clients who will never ever allow themselves to be vaccinated.
And then I have the clients (and friends and family) who consider the ramifications, the pros and cons, AND look at what is influencing them.
1. From where I sit, you can look at the facts - and there are plenty, and some of them may be confusing and even contradictory.
2. You can ask everyone what they're gonna do - and that can be an endless poll.
3. Or you can look at what's influencing you.
I'll confess, I've done all three.
1. The facts are fascinating. I've never felt so empowered to explore options and dive deeper into...
It's Monday. Doesn't feel like it, but there you go. In fact, most days haven't been feeling like they 'normally' would.
Last week it wasn't until 4 pm that I finally realized it was Saturday. I'd been operating as though it was a Wednesday. Not that there's much difference in days of the week for me, but still, it's a mind snap.
In the last 2 ½ weeks, I've written three separate emails to you. Three. And I deleted each one. Which explains why you never got them.
Each one was perfectly good. I shared, I compared, I elevated. You know. But I never hit the send button.
We're in transition days right now. All of us. We see the turn in the road up ahead. But it looks closer than it really is. That ole illusion of time and space.
Everyone is waiting for something different, for something to happen. A vaccine? 2 of them? Summer? A booked trip? A garden, fully planted? To have company? To know what the next step will be?
The in-between state is icky,...
Who doesn’t look forward to spring?
There’s a freshness that lifts our chin and puts a touch of bounce in our step. And this spring - with vaccines rolling out! - is a whole different spring than last year.
That’s why I had my seasonal conversation with my favourite karmic astrologer, Marielle Croft (croftastrologer.com) the other day - a few days before the Spring Equinox. I knew we all wanted to peek around the spring corner and see what possibilities lie ahead.
JONNI: Happy Spring, Marielle. So does this spring start off differently than last spring, according to the planetary influences?
MARIELLE: Happy Spring! At this time last year, we were knocked out by the powerful trio Saturn-Pluto-Jupiter in Capricorn, a conjunction that held together during all of 2020.
Now we are just barely starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel with the different vaccines that came to life in record time.
Did someone you trust recommend me? Did you google-search 'spiritual psychologist'? Did you follow an internet link? There are no coincidences. I know at least 9 reasons why we should talk. Let me share them with you.