Someone stepped forward to hug me yesterday and I froze. Then I jumped back.
I didn't step back. I literally jumped.
Now I know that in the Age of COVID, we don't hug. And the person attempting to hug me knows that too. But because he was moving away and this was likely the last time we would ever see each other, I expected he was operating from the Exception Rule. But coronavirus doesn't honour that rule, so, NO.
I thought about it all later and realized that this was more than about COVID. For me, it was definitely about hugging.
So I put some thought into my hugging history before COVID.
If you had been a client of mine when I used to see people in person (pre-2012), we likely hugged at the end of a deeply personal and vulnerable session. It wasn't always and it wasn't with everyone, but hugging was very often the intimacy exchange.
I hugged my friends. I hugged trees. I don't call what I do with cats and dogs, hugging, but it's...
I had a playdate with my soul sister Cheryl, today, in my own hood. In the 25 years I've been friends with Cheryl, that's never ever happened.
Since moving to the coast 11 years ago, anyone who knows me knows I don't like to leave here, so if they wanted to see me, they pretty well had to take the ferry. And even then, I wasn't too keen.
And then, when my son went 'off-grid' 8 years ago, I REALLY didn't want to leave the coast. Or see others. I hunkered in and slowly started to fade.
It was understandable. Everyone gave me time. And there's no end to how much time one needs when one loses the love of their life, their only child.
Oh, I had my work which kept me alive and connected. I had my friendships, my marriage, my beloved coast, but I was fading, hiding, and I knew it.
And so did Cheryl.
Over the years she kept our relationship going - thriving actually - by phone. We usually talked daily. Processing, elevating, being real and raw - all of it. But...
My husband, Blake, said goodbye to his favourite Uncle yesterday knowing that today was the day he would choose to exit the planet.
We knew this would be his Uncle's last summer. And so Blake lovingly spent as much time as possible with him - whole days, every other day, planned, last minute, whatever he could.
Earlier in the season he carefully took him fishing, firmly planting a chair on the boat deck, watching him get as excited as he could - helping him hold up a fish, taking the trophy photo, framing it, and placing it on his bedside table. The last fishing days.
Then there were the days of sorting through the sheds and outbuildings and boathouse while his Uncle pointed and directed his wishes. A lot of stories were told, a lot of equipment was given away, a lot of love was shared.
But the last week, Blake just crawled into bed with him, lying close enough to feel his breath, a golf game on the nearby tv, a gentle...
This is what you wanna keep your eyes on
Change IS happening, but it's slow. Almost plodding along.
We know the planets are influencing this (5 retrogrades? *thank you very much*) but it's also the EVOLUTIONARY energy rather than the REVOLUTIONARY energy.
Evolution energy is slow, but it's continuous. It's steady, progressive. It's a movement in a direction.
Revolution energy is fast and erratic. It's volatile, disruptive. It's a forceful change that doesn't wait until everyone's on board with it.
WE'RE LIVING IN EVOLUTIONARY TIMES and that's purposeful to our expanding consciousness. It's important that we sync our thoughts and emotions and actions together. It takes more time. It includes more depth. And bigger reasons why.
That doesn't make it comfortable though. And it's certainly not the dramatic before-and-after energy of a revolution where we can feel the beginning and the ending.
Evolutionary energy isn't dramatic at all.
Oh sure, there...
I was a vegetarian when I met my husband, Blake, 12 years ago. Actually I was a pescatarian. (That's someone who eats fish).
I had been a vegan for many years (vegans can eat sugar, right?) - but I missed eggs. And I LOVE eggs. More than sugar. So I added eggs to my diet. Oh, and yogurt. And then butter. And before I knew it, I wasn't vegan anymore. (it happens.)
Looking back, I realized I was making decisions about how to fuel my body based on short-sightedness. I forgot why I was making those choices and simply went with my cravings.
And then Blake came into my life. Blake, the hunter/fisherman. If this relationship was going to last, I needed to re-evaluate my choices. I needed to understand the bigger reasons for my dietary choices.
I started with reading 'The Butcher and the Vegetarian' and that was...interesting...but didn't really help me bridge the gap. Neither did conversations with my meat-eating friends.
So I dialled myself back to when...
It's ThrowbackThursday and I'm thinking of a picture of my son, Connor when he was a little muffin top.
He wanted to plant an herb garden because he wanted to dig and hoe and water just like mommy. I guided him to plant his own garden so he could connect with the energy of life through creation and care. I knew him to be sensitive and wanted to cultivate that quality. I remember his favourite part of gardening was "cutting some (s)prigs for mommy when she cooked".
Connor would take the grown-up scissors and carefully cut me some chives or parsley or rosemary or whatever I asked for. I rarely asked him for sage though and he always said, "Don't you want sage yet?". I'd laugh and say something like, "Not today, sweetie; not today."
It had been his idea to plant sage. He fell in love with the porcelain garden tag that said 'sage' when we saw it in a local shop, so I bought it, along with another 6 or 7 other ones.
I gave birth during a winter blizzard. Not IN a winter blizzard. But the blizzard was responsible for the black ice on the road when I lost control of the Honda Civic that night.
As my white hatchback started sliding sideways down down down the steep slope off the side of the road, the snow picked up and all I could see in the dark was my headlights illuminating the horizontally falling snow. That was my perspective.
The seatbelt and the gear shift kept my 8 ½ month pregnancy belly jammed hard in place. And then the sliding stopped. And it was silent.
I don't know how long I remained in that position. I do know that after a while I started to hear shouting. I looked up and out my driver's side window and there was a sight I will never forget. It's permanently imprinted in my memory.
A man was shouting at me. Trying to get my attention. Behind him was another man, and then another person and another and another and...
So, it appears that a gang of raccoons had a party at my place last night.
There's evidence everywhere.
Tied-down lounge chair cushions were ripped off the chairs. A metal and rock statue I call 'Kevin' was used to bowl through the garden (it didn't survive). My pond plants were pulled up and tossed around like an Italian chef tossing pizza dough.
The list goes on.
My husband Blake's running shoes, normally parked outside the kitchen door, were missing. (Later found: one in the pond, one behind a fir in the back 40.) The barbecue cover, normally carefully folded beside the barbecue, was found under a red maple tree. And all the outdoor mats were grabbed and juggled and left in a heap like the clothes in the corner of a teenager's bedroom.
It all started yesterday when the wild raccoons showed themselves in the middle of the day. For nocturnal creatures, that surprised me.
They marched around our wrap-around deck, peering in...
‘I am stressed, therefore I am’ should not be your mantra, should not be your belief. Not if you desire to live a more whole and integrated life.
Unfortunately, though, the fast pace of information and expectations in the world means stress has become more and more commonplace.
But that’s the world; it doesn’t have to be you.
Understand that stress is a build-up of unprocessed emotions.
The more you keep going and doing and experiencing without taking time to reflect, to deepen your understanding, to find greater meaning, to shift your behaviour, the more you are contributing to your stress levels. And I doubt that that's the plan.
Because stress represents a disconnect from your whole self, it is also a disconnect from your soul, your soul self. That means you have been ignoring that aspect of you, putting it on the back burner.
In essence, what you're doing is not listening to your self. You're not paying attention to...
I FIRST MET ROMEO - the 35 lb male, part Maine Coon, part something from another species? - when he came out from behind a sofa and spread himself out across my feet.
He had been rescued by my neighbours 2 weeks before, but with a house full of dogs, cats, rabbits, and children, he was not able to thrive. And everyone deserves to thrive.
I FIRST FELL IN LOVE WITH ROMEO when he stared up at me with his seductive liquid-green eyes and started purring like a Harley Davidson. The invisible sign on his back said, "I belong to you".
The year before, I had lost my only son, Connor, when a distracted driver ran a red light in a crosswalk and killed him. I was still in deep grieving and Romeo seemed to know.
I remember my husband, Blake, looked back and forth between me and Romeo. He saw our hearts connect and he knew we were not going to be going home without him.
When my nights were filled with grieving, Romeo comforted me. When I grew weary in the afternoons, Romeo more often...
Did someone you trust recommend me? Did you google-search 'spiritual psychologist'? Did you follow an internet link? There are no coincidences. I know at least 9 reasons why we should talk. Let me share them with you.